The Unfolding Mystery of Life

Living an ordinary life well

Over the past few years I’ve made the journey from the coast of Chiclayo to the Temple of Chavin three times. The first time was with Parker soon after we parted ways with Bridge to One. The last two have been with the comrades who remain to walk the path.

However, this January I will not be going on the Pilgrimage. Instead I will be deepening my roots here in Asheville with my family, and continuing to do the work that has been given to me.

If it were asked of me, I was prepared to walk the path to Chavin twice a year every year for the rest of my life. But during the July Pilgrimage I sensed that cycle was coming to an end. I felt the subtle cue from spirit that my path was leading elsewhere, though I did not yet know where. I know I will return someday, and maybe sooner rather than later. But for now I’m being called elsewhere.

My path started leading me back to practicing law in April when an unexpected visit from law enforcement led to a raid of my house and the confiscation of my medicine. At the time I had no intention of going back to practicing law. I thought that part of my life was done. But spirit had other plans.

There is nothing like being attacked to make you grateful for knowing how to fight.
The government invaded my home, stole my sacraments, and threatened to deny me the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. They did so without any legitimate governmental interest under the pretense of colonial drug policies that attempt to outlaw god and nature.

They had no right to attack me, but they did. They abused their power and violated basic tenants of the social contract. When they indicted me for felony trafficking of “hallucinogens” then offered me a plea agreement, they thought I would be grateful for their lenience.

But I wasn’t grateful. I was angry. How dare they? They were breaking the law and violating my rights.

We are only as strong as our commitment to truth. It doesn’t matter our size or how many of us there are. One person possessed by truth can topple any adversary motivated by delusion. One who acts in accordance with natural law is an extension of the Logos itself. Those who act from fear and delusion only have power to the extent they can lure others into the conspiracy of their fears.

I spent Thanksgiving writing a forty page motion to dismiss the felony charges against me. We filed it on December 8th, after my last status hearing in the same courtroom where I practiced law for ten years.

The prosecutor’s position was that “you can’t just take any mind altering substances you want and get away with it by calling it religion.” This bigoted perspective revealed that he hadn’t read our previous letter or taken our entreaties seriously. As far as he was concerned he had all the power and didn’t have to listen to us.

That is disappointing. But fortunately prosecutors are not the ultimate arbitrators of truth. The court gave the prosecution 30 days to respond to our brief. Then we would schedule a hearing where I would have the opportunity to prove the sincerity of my religious beliefs. After that the burden of proof would shift to the prosecution, and they would have to show by clear and convincing evidence that they have a legitimate governmental interest in prohibiting the practice of my faith and that prohibition was the least restrictive means of furthering that interest.

The Supreme Court has already spoken on this subject, and in 2006 found that the government had no interest in prohibiting the UDV church from using their sacrament of Ayahuasca. So it wasn’t a battle the prosecution was likely to win. Especially since there has been a proliferation of scientific studies in recent years showing that natural entheogens are relatively safe and can facilitate profound psychospiritual healing. The fact they are illegal is just another example of the government being an emperor with no clothes, where the law is not in accord with justice and truth.

Though the prosecutor has been my adversary in this drama, I feel no malice towards him. From what I can tell he is a decent man who is just doing what he thinks is his job.

To his credit, when faced with having to draft a response to my motion to dismiss and engage in a lengthy hearing he would have lost, he decided to dismiss the case.

On December 21st, the Winter Solstice, I received a call from my attorney letting me know the prosecutor had decided to dismiss the charges against me. I wish I could say I feel relief, but I don’t. I always knew I would win, I just didn’t know how long or hard I would have to fight.

This is the game the government plays with those who use ancestral medicines as spiritual sacraments. They exploit the ambiguity in the law to intimidate, harass, and prosecute people for practicing their faith. They rely on people not knowing their rights or being unwilling or unable to defend themselves. They try to make you admit to guilt and agree to a lesser sentence by threatening you with draconian punishments they have no right to impose.

In most places in the United States the right to use natural entheogens as a sacrament is an affirmative defense. Our sacraments are largely Schedule I drugs that are illegal to possess or use. However, if you use them for a spiritual purpose and get caught, in most places you have the right to assert a religious defense.

Which means in the eyes of the law those who use natural entheogens are guilty until proven innocent. Which is like outlawing the Eucharist and prosecuting anyone who partakes in it while forcing them to prove the sincerity of their faith.

Most people who practice these ways are allergic to words like religion and church, because in their experience those things have little to do with spirit. Their life experience has taught them that religion and churches are social institutions used to control and disempower people.

Yet using these words and reclaiming them in their sacred expression is important. It makes these practices more recognizable to the colonial mind as being deserving of protection. It makes it easier to draw parallels to other historical examples of legal and social oppression of religious minorities, and demonstrates the inherent injustice of the status quo.

Oppression thrives on ambiguity, in places where the light of justice and truth has not yet shone. The war for the right to practice these ways is not over. In fact it has only begun.

These practices are growing in popularity, and for better or worse the Psychedelic Renaissance is here to stay. To be clear, I don’t think that movement is an unalloyed good. I have some deep reservations about the use of synthetic psychedelics, the colonization of indigenous culture, and a lack of sufficient reciprocity with the land, medicine, and medicine carriers.

But I believe we are experiencing necessary growing pains - a part of our psychedelic adolescence. I have faith that we will make mistakes and learn from them, and that is a necessary part of growing into spiritual maturity.

Life looks a lot different going into 2024 than it did a year ago. Last year I was still reeling from the loss of Parker, and wasn’t sure how to continue the work we started together. I was living in Kentucky in a home I shared with my former partner, in a place I had outgrown.

Life was unintegrated and unsustainable.

Then in April Kali’s sword swung through my life. That led to me moving out of my home in Kentucky and moving to Asheville, North Carolina with my new partner and her son. Soon after I accepted an attorney position with a national law firm representing service members and their families injured by contaminated water at Camp Lejeune Marine Corp Base.

Which means as I go into 2024 instead of defending myself from the government I will be suing them. After a two year sabbatical from practicing law I can honestly say I missed it, and am enjoying reclaiming that part of myself in a new way.

I have enjoyed the freedom of the past few years, and the ability to weave and flow through life like a winding river. But things have often felt unrooted and unstable. I’m coming to think of these past few years as the beginning of a lifelong apprenticeship with the medicine. It has been a period of intensive study and withdrawal from old versions of myself, followed by reintegration with the old self and transformation of the foundational elements of life.

I’ve enjoyed the flow of the past few years, but I’m also loving the structure and discipline of this new pattern. I like working hard for a worthy cause and feeling put to good use. Each morning I wake up and do my Kriya Yoga practice, then spend eight to nine hours helping service members and their families get justice for their injuries. After work I go to Crossfit or Jiu Jitsu and spend the evenings with my beloved and her son. Weekends involve time with friends, medicine work, and exploring the natural beauty of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

I feel at home in the world in a new way. My life is filled with deep and intimate relationships and work that serves my mission and purpose. I can honestly say my most profound spiritual achievement to date has been learning to live an ordinary life well.

The mysteries of the Pilgrimage continue to unfold within me.

The past year has taught me a lot. Some of those lessons I wish I didn’t have to learn. But the most difficult lessons are the most profound teachers. I am grateful for everything that has come to pass over the past year, and am looking forward to what the future holds.

I never really know where I’m going or what I’m getting into. I don’t think much about the future. I just try to discern the direction I’m being asked to walk and commit to putting one foot in front of the other until the job is done or I’m asked to change directions.

I try to listen for what the creator is asking of me, and trust that whatever arises is conspiring in favor of my highest good. I try to regard every experience as a teacher and blessing. I try to align my will with that of the creator and surrender to the unfolding mystery of life.

I dare not speculate about what the upcoming year might hold. I just know I’m ready to meet whatever comes my way, and will continue dedicating myself to serving the good of all in whatever ways I’m asked.

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!